


Snapshots

by chraezanty17



Category: The Night Circus - Erin Morgenstern
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-01 06:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4008550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chraezanty17/pseuds/chraezanty17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their shapes were bathed in moonlight shining through the window, separating them from the cold fog and the rest of the world, leaving them in one that was infinitely better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snapshots

When she got her first Tattoo, Tsukiko had not so much as flinched. She had expected the sharp pain at her vertebrae as the needle buried itself into her flesh, below the skin, releasing the ink to create the form of a crescent moon where before the skin had been smooth and flawless. She had been prepared for it and smiled dryly as she remembered the middle-aged man's reassurances as to how she would be fine and it would be over before she had blinked. Of course, it had all been a blatant lie as she spent the better part of an hour staring at her notes of alchemy runes and turning the idea over and over in her mind. Should Jupiter follow as the next design?

Having all these symbols drawn unto her body, she would never forget them and there was absolutely no need for her to waste time on wondering if she would ever regret one of her tattoos.

It was not like she had much left to live.

The game had started half a year ago, on November 17th.

The man in the grey suit had visited her, a rarity in itself. Still, Tsukiko was weary - his gracious presence did not usually mean something that was, strictly speaking, good.

He had not told her much, but then again, he had never done so in the past. Looking back, she supposed she would have been suspicious if he had told her the truth right from the start. He had never been a man of many words, which suited her. She was not accustomed to the company of people, which was the result of being her mentor's apprentice, and she herself preferred for others not to get to know her very well. Being shrouded in mystery, at least in their minds, gave her considerable power and an advantage. At the very least she liked to believe in that.

As her studies progressed and she became increasingly engrossed and focused on the elements, she found herself tired of force-feeding her brain complicated formulas and symbols necessary for mastering her passion: water.

The element suited her - ever changing at will, destructive one moment and gentle the next, giving life. It was fascinating - one thing she had always anticipated doing was simply sitting on the dunes, feeling the sand beneath her bare feet, reveling in the sight of the sea.

The changing of the tides, the breeze carrying the salty taste of the water, sunset.

It would never happen, she was well aware of that. So she had to work to get as close to summoning the sea to her chamber as she could.

Eyeing her beloved crescent moon in a mirror, Tsukiko absent-mindedly grasped for a quill and started to copy symbols she already knew by heart onto the next best inch of parchment. She was somewhere far away, at the coast of a long-lost island waiting to be found.

By the soft illumination of candlelight, she looked over her work as she had run out of symbols and ink, bemused and fully expecting for it to had turned out to be an undecipherable mess of scrawled lines and runes to be arranged at random to give one the impression to be watching a kindergarten child's drawing.

What she found was something a child, however skilled, could not have achieved. It needed work, that was undeniable. Still, Tsukiko found herself smiling and remained cross-legged on the floor viewing the parchment from all angles until the candles wax had melted to a puddle and she was left in the dark.

She supposed it was time to pack the few worldly possessions she had for her next journey. Another country, another few weeks enclosed in a huge yet frustratingly beautiful mansion surrounded by books literary scholars would kill to get their hands on with restlessness and an inexpressible longing for

something

to keep her from sleep.

* * *

She first met the person single-handedly responsible for her turning from magic only moments after the man in the grey suit had given her directions and left, taking all her possessions with him which were never to be seen again.

He introduced himself as Hector Bowen. Why he had done so was irrelevant to the reflecting Tsukiko - she would not have known him from his stage name either way. Yet she wondered, however rarely, why they had chosen to introduce their players to each other only after the game had already commenced.

He was outwardly polite, if cold and distant. The first and only words coming out of his mouth that were not concerning the game were dripping with sarcasm, as he was certain of his success.

"Good luck."

Tsukiko bowed her head and found that he was gone by the time she had raised it again to face his gaze. In his place there was a girl left, seemingly the same age as her, which surprised her.

The stranger clasped her hands together and bowed. She looked incredibly fragile to Tsukiko until the pair of pitch black eyes met her own. There was definite fire and temper in her, a lust for life and experience. A dangerous combination to detect in one's opponent - for that was what she was, always would be. No matter how they would come to feel about each other, there would always be an unbreachable barrier separating them until death, Tsukiko realized as she became aware of the physical changes around the room as the two women faced each other from opposing sides of the hall. A sudden gust of wind ripped the curtains away from the windows and swept them into the air to land at their feet. Still, opposing the laws of physics, the temperature rose to reach an unbearable heat as the stranger took several steps in Tsukiko's direction, who had subconsciously moved towards her as well, drawn together like magnets of opposing poles.

They were barely more than two feet's distance of each other when the unknown girl seized the curtain and left Tsukiko to sharply draw in breath as the crimson fabric caught fire, flames licking at her delicate fingers and yet not searing her skin. She watched as more and more of the curtain burned down until it reached her feet.

Calmly, Tsukiko knelt down and drowned the curtain in gallons of water. The soft whispering of the flames stopped to be momentarily replaced by the dampness and salty taste of the sea.

The two women stood their ground, each observing the other, similar to a predator stalking its prey.

"My name is Hinata." The few words were whispered and would not have reached Tsukiko's ears under normal circumstances. They did nevertheless, as the tension could still have been cut with a knife and yet lost its insufferable aspect. Hinata's voice was clear and reminded her of bells and the hours she had spent staring at her older sister playing Chopin (though she would never know that to be the composer's name), mesmerised.

"Tsukiko." She had dropped her own voice to a whisper, obtaining a smile from Hinata.

Looking back, she considered their first meeting too innocent and playful for it to have ended like it did.

* * *

It took Tsukiko a year before she showed Hinata her sketch of runes and symbols she had drawn about an eternity ago - or so it felt to her. Both contestants had grown up in ways they would never completely understand.

"It's beautiful.", Hinata breathed as she rested her chin on Tsukiko's shoulder to get a better view of the drawing. Tsukiko closed her eyes and was at once overwhelmed by the smell of cream and ginger. She inhaled deeply and opened her eyes to watch as the other woman lightly traced her finger over the old parchment. She noticed her disheveled hair hardly kept from freely flowing down her shoulders by pins and smiled.

She knew they both felt the same way about having seen their respective mentors just a few hours ago, after months of strength-draining tricks, moments of silent doubt and little competitions: relief. They could not wait for them to be gone again, as their mere presence made reality come crashing down and painfully remind them that this small, private paradise in some secluded corner of Kyoto would not remain, as one of them would be forced to live while the other would pass away. Their seclusion and lack of interaction with people other than their opponent made them cling to each other more tightly as days turned into weeks.

Tsukiko gently cupped Hinata's face and tucked a loose strand of her opponent's hair behind her ear. "Do you think it can be done?"

Hinata shrugged and leaned her head on Tsukiko's shoulder. "Of course. Should be a  _welcome_  challenge for once."

They started with Jupiter, moved on to an ankh above her collarbone, at some point ended with the Chinese character for persistence on her lower back. Hinata completed Tsukiko's masterpiece herself. It was an exceedingly intimate yet pleasant thing to lay so much responsibility and trust into one person's hands as to allow them to paint these images. After hours and hours of performing the necessary spells to manipulate the ink to form a lush maze of symbols under her skin, travelling over half her body, Tsukiko's back was sore and bleeding.

She was happy, smiling. Be it silence or talking with low voices, like children afraid of being found out to still be awake when in fact they should have been asleep for hours, Hinata's company relaxed her, made her feel good about herself simply because  _she_ was there and felt the same way about her. Their shapes were bathed in moonlight shining through the window, separating them from the cold fog and the rest of the world, leaving them in one that was infinitely better.

About three weeks after the completion of her complex pattern of tattoos, her wounds had healed.

The evenings spent together, lying side by side on their backs watching the ceiling as their firework of fire and water fought against each other, would come to continually play on the inside of her eyelids. Never did one completely extinguish the other, never did so much as a splash of water or a spark brush their bare skin. A nightly ritual that still served to make Tsukiko feel uncharacteristically melancholy every time she passed the bonfire of Le Cirque des Rêves.

Each room of their venue - an ancient country house that looked ready to collapse at first sight - was dedicated the four elements.

_Earth._ It appeared to be a small room. The vastness of it didn't properly register with a spectator until they were standing in in the middle of it, left to marvel at a breathtaking labyrinth of exotic plants and flowers. Images of fairy tales flashed through the observer's mind at the sight of this otherworldly creation. It was never the same, changing daily as to make it unrecognizable and impossible to figure out. Never would one be able to explore every corner. It combined the forest, the beach, mountains, meadows, a savage garden. Every landscape one could name seemed to magically appear right at the moment the observer thought to have found a crucial part missing. Every leaf and bud had been summoned by magic, save for a single tree under the name of the Japanese Cherry.

_Air._ Stepping into the hall allowed one to fly and ascend to the heavens at will, even as during the players' moments of despair, a storm was brewing. It had happened before that the ground had been scorched from lightning or peppered with hail the next day.

_Water. Fire._ The magnificent chamber was divided into halves, water and fire not quite clashing but very close and seemingly nearing each other the longer anyone would take the time to watch. All of their passion embodied in the force of nature, it was a sight to behold, with the elements bending into impossible shapes like contortionists. Tsukiko could not have attempted to describe it if someone had held a gun to her own or a beloved's head - even more than was already, however metaphorically, the case.

It seemed an embodiment of their combined anger at their mentors - the unaware destruction of both of their apprentices' lives in exchange for entertainment and satisfaction of their ego.

* * *

"I love you."

Tsukiko froze and hardly brought up the strength to turn her head towards Hinata. The stress and physical strain of the game of endurance they had unwillingly entered had already taken its toll. They had lasted 97 months now and were still counting, but there was no denial that their time together would soon be nothing more than a bittersweet memory.

"I-" Tsukiko could not articulate coherent words, save whole sentences. She was aware of the weight of Hinata's words.

They had promised each other that when one of them had decided the burden was too much to carry or they found themselves otherwise unable to continue playing, they would let the other know. The bond they had formed over the course of the game had almost made them able to communicate telepathically as they knew what the other was thinking without speaking. As opposites in more than one way, they had found a soulmate in their enemy and focus of life.

"No!" She screamed, surprised at her own outburst. It was clear to Tsukiko what Hinata meant to do - over the years, it had never been necessary to voice their feelings in the shape of actual words.  _Never._ They were obvious enough, for one thing - the country house itself seemed to shudder at each touch, each fight and each proof that they were only delaying the inevitable, prolonging the torture.

Hinata smiled. "You'll get to see the sea and leave this place, Kiko. You've always wanted that. Show the world your wonderful tattoos and they will be scandalized."

The playful tone made Tsukiko suppress the urge to smash inanimate objects to pieces. It was not supposed to end like this. And yet, as she closed her eyes and felt her aching muscles and control gradually slipping away, she realized that Hinata was not being stupid or unreasonable - it would come down to the sole survivor and she was simply sparing them more pain. They did not have much time left as it was.

Before her opponent - her love - could even blink, Tsukiko was embracing her with the intention of not letting her go.

Hinata laughed quietly and stroked her hair. "There was never a moment when you acted childish, not ever. It's ironic that you do it now."

Tsukiko sighed and faced her. Not fighting with her anymore, never seeing her trying to defy physic's laws with her magical creations - all this was part of a future she had been trained to look forward to.

"I'm not going to end it just now. Soon, though, never you doubt that." Hinata pressed her lips to Tsukiko's forehead and entwined their hands. She tugged at the other woman's snow white kimono down to reveal the Latin word for fire,  _ignis_ , written in neat and elegant script on her collar bone. She lifted a finger as if to trace the letters, but hesitated when it was just half an inch from Tsukiko's skin. Hinata let go of her kimono and walked away.

Tsukiko was about to say something when her opponent turned her head to meet her gaze and grinned. "I challenge you to walk over water."

She could not help but reciprocate the grin. All that counted was that they now had a distraction to focus on and no worries in the world for the following minutes. They had the time of their lives splashing water into each other's faces until they nearly choked laughing.

Children without a childhood, left by their father figures.

It was a beautiful day, despite everything.

* * *

Tsukiko woke to glaring sunlight and Hinata singing.

It took her a while to recognize the song, and when she did, it filled her with nostalgia. It was an old lullaby, weaving a seemingly endless tale about various worlds and dimensions with brave travellers constantly exploring and yet never knowing enough. It reminded her too much of life.

She stood up and quietly walked up to Hinata, wrapping her arms around her waist from behind. Her opponent switched to humming and stopped only to disentangle herself from the embrace and kiss Tsukiko on the mouth, burying her hands in her luminous hair.

Hinata pulled away after what could have been either seconds or hours and put an arm around Tsukiko's shoulders, gently leading her towards their chamber of Water and Fire. They halted once so Hinata could pick up an object that quickly disappeared into her pocket, not nearly enough time for Tsukiko to identify it.

By the time they arrived, Hinata was positively edgy, yet euphoric. Both women watched as a column of fire at least seven feet high appeared in front of them with barely sufficient distance for them not to be burned.

Tsukiko was so enchanted by the phenomenon that she did not notice Hinata moving until she had already stepped into the flame. Her steps had the fluid grace of a practiced dancer to them - but then again, she recalled, her opponent had frequently mentioned her passion for all kinds of dances.

She was stunned and dumbstruck as she watched the fire ripple like the disturbed surface of water. The flames seemed to thicken, as it was impossible for her to clearly see Hinata's shape. The lack of screams and the only sounds being her own shallow breathing combined with the fire's crackling was eerie and made her vain situation worse.

Tsukiko knew there would have been no other way in the long run. At least they could take some control of their fate this way, she repeated countless times until her mantra was almost a comfort to her tears. Through her blurred vision she noticed a black, small object lying on the ground - upon closer observation she saw it was a fire lighter with rich symbols and vines engraved in it, unmistakably Hinata's doing. She smiled and tightly held on to it as if for dear life - even though now it was unnecessary - and strolled through the Earth chamber as if in a trance.

She kept looking for her beloved's creations, her enormous trees only finding an equal in tropical jungles. Her hopes suffered cracks until they shattered completely. The last thing that caught her eye was the one flower not summoned by magic they had planted at the beginning of the game. The cherry blossoms were breathtakingly beautiful.

The man in the grey suit arrived at the venue mere minutes after the victor had been determined. He did not speak much, and the only acknowledgement of her winning was a curt nod. When asked how she felt, she thought about Hinata's song.

"Even with years of invested time and emotions, victory has a bitter taste." Tsukiko responded. Emotionless, her face pale.

The first thing she did after being granted freedom at last was lighting a cigarette.

* * *

As Tsukiko watched Marco and Celia, the happy, not-quite-dead couple, she lit a candle and placed it upon the Wishing Tree's highest branch. Widget was watching her with what he viewed as a subtle and inconspicuous manner, his eyes as huge as plates. Curious, uncertain, intrigued - he felt for her as most people did.

Maybe some day, she decided, she would tell him her story.


End file.
